じろじろ見る

生活になれましたか？　まだなれません。 "Have you become accustomed to life in Japan?" was the opening question of today's grammar class. Of the eight students in the class, half answered that they had become accustomed to Japan life and the other half (including me) answered that we had not yet.　

Of course, the follow-up question was either what was different from our homes or what was difficult with life here. My answer, which others in the program have felt as well, is that we are constantly stared at. Mite! Gaijin desu! (Look! It's a foreigner!) Moreover, it is not a kind stare but an interrogating or questioning one. We feel like we stick out. Yesterday, a few of us were discussing this feeling. I said that I feel like I am constantly in the way. I can't figure out which side of the sidewalk to walk on, where to move when a bicycle is coming at me, or which line to join at the train station. Comically, as saying this, I backed up a little and nearly stepped on someone walking behind me! I had to laugh. However, on explaining this in class to day, I used the word "misumeru," which translates as to stare. This "stare" is one of beauty or admiration I learned. The sensei told me I meant jirojiromiru (the subject of this entry), whose meaning offers a negative feeling along with the staring.

Interesting, upon starting a conversation with any Japanese person, 95% of the time, they are kind, helpful, and interested in having a conversation. Therefore, I said that overall I feel a bit confused here (tomadou). Japan is a very homogenous society and I think it is understood that I am trying to live here (food shopping, train pass, no huge backpack strapped to me) rather than just be a tourist, which creates some tension it seems.